June 19, 2010

I really want to continue this daily gospel study. I admit, it is difficult. Tonight especially. I don't feel very well. The last time I got sick, I broke this habit. I resolved that I wouldn't do the same thing the next time I get sick, that it is important enough to me to take time to do every day, no matter what. The important thing to me is keeping a journal record along with it. I could "just read" while laying in bed, but that will develop a habit of "just reading." I want more than that. I have had my faith and testimony strengthened a lot since I have been writing along with my study and that is what I want more of. Funny things is I usually do not get sick that often, but here I am almost a month later than that last time. Perhaps it is a test. Today I passed it. :) I am opening my scriptures with a pen in hand.

I read 1 John 4 tonight and loved it. It talked of Jesus Christ being the Son of God, of love, of God, of the two great commandments to love God and love our neighbors. This speaks straight to my heart. I love verse 7 that says, "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." It's hard for me to explain what this means to me, but it is extremely meaningful to me. God knows my heart. He understands why. I love Him. I love learning to love. I'm so grateful for this scripture because it tells me that I know God. I know Him because I love. I know that I know Him. I know Him in direct proportion to how I know to love, which still feels like a tiny seed just beginning to sprout. But it's there, and it's growing! And with nurturing care, it will grow and grow into a beautiful, large tree. Then I will know Him that much more. I am happy being a seed because I know who I am. I know what I am growing into. And the thought thrills me.